I guess i never really did make those lasting friendships that I so wish i had. Maybe it's because of my lack of willingness to my cause, or it's because i have, in reality, always kept to myself. I recently had a dream i would grow old with never knowing what a real "best friend" feels like. Not only that but maybe my actual approach to it all.
I think i may come off too strongly about the situation but i try my hardest to make the other person feel comfortable. I don't know if it's because inside i'm too sensative of a person to really open up. And when i do and start getting notions that it will get better... I get let down and come to find out they're not as into the new friendship as i was. I feel like i devote my time to keeping a friendship going by inviting to go shopping or over for lunch and a movie... But regardless it's hard!
At this point i think i need not try so hard to please others and hope that someday i get someone who genuinely appreciates me and doesn't take me for granted.
My life is in a place right now where all i need is the comfort of someone who will listen to what i have to say and not secretly judge me. Someone who will get up in the morning and think of me when they're about to head out the door, maybe even stop by unexpectedly and give me motivation to go out. Even if it's just to accompany them to the store, or even a drs appt. I could care less where.
To me "girl time" is important in a marriage not only will it strengthen the bond between the couple, but having friends on either side outside of the marriage keeps each other sane. I currently don't have a steady relationship with any female. I have my girls that i do talk to, but none that i have been able to really consider my girlfriend. I hope that i'm not setting myself up for disappointment when i call someone my bestie, and then not feel like it's a mutual feeling.
I just hope that i get the best friend i dream about.... That's all i've ever wanted...
Monique (son is 1 yr 6 m)
1 comment:
I came here through your YouTube Caramel Brulee video and saw this post. I wanted to let you know you are not alone as far as motherhood and friends are concerned. I just had my third (and last - tubes tied) child three months ago. Prior to this, I had someone whom I guess I considered my best friend. We used to talk for hours and have a lot in common. Its seems though, during my entire pregnancy and afterward, that I am not on her list of priorities anymore. She came to the hospital the day after I had my daughter and I haven't seen her since. She doesn't call me anymore, doesn't come over, and rarely even comments on Facebook. I'm lucky if I get a text message. I haven't done anything wrong that I can think of. So here I am, left with no one to talk to when my husband pisses me off or when my kids are driving me crazy. She is single with no kids, so I guess she just doesn't want to hear it. I do have another friend with a kid who I do talk to here and there, but its just not the kind of girl/best friend relationship I've always wished I had. I will admit that I obviously don't have the time to enter into the kind of relationship where we can talk for hours everyday. And they can't expect me to drop everything to go to the movies, etc. but once a week would be nice. Mothers need to get out of the house! ;)
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